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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25904293">Chances</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saggittarius/pseuds/Saggittarius'>Saggittarius</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Oathbreaker - Fandom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Brief Elements of Non-Con, F/F, Mild Gore, Pre-Canon, Pre-Relationship, no actual non-con</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 12:47:56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>15,885</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25904293</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saggittarius/pseuds/Saggittarius</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>-Careful, <i>Love</i>. – Her voice was low, as intimidating as she could make it. -<i>Warlocks have no honor</i>.<br/>But, once more, Alwenn barely reacted.<br/>-It’s ok. -A soft yawn left her mouth, her words becoming more sluggish and lower as she talked, until they turned into a whisper. -<i>You’re much more than just a Warlock</i>.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alwenn/Thyia (Oathbreaker)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Chances</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was an unusually cold night at Westerford.</p><p>The mood was heavy, tension as high as ever, especially in the darkness where anything could happen.</p><p>Thyia sat silently outside of her tent, staring at the sky as she mused on her thoughts.</p><p>She prayed that she wouldn’t hear the nightmare-inducing howls of the dangerous creatures they had been fighting relentlessly for the last weeks.</p><p>She was on watch duty.</p><p>She didn’t mind that responsibility at all. It wasn’t like she slept much anyway.</p><p>Being a General was far more stressful than just sitting on the ground, so she was grateful for the break.</p><p>As far as her watch duty went that night, she had only heard one or two soft snores coming from the tents near her.</p><p>It would be a mystery for her how anyone could actually sleep in the middle of that pandemonium, if she wasn’t aware that the exhaustion had far surpassed the fear at that point.</p><p>She leaned her head back and closed her eyes for some seconds, taking a deep breath, enjoying the peace and silence that she knew would end soon.</p><p>
  <em>She just didn’t expect it to be <strong>so</strong> soon.</em>
</p><p>Footsteps rang near her, walking in her direction.</p><p>Despite her mind telling her that no imp would make that sound, Thyia couldn’t help the chill that ran down her spine, tensing her body as her eyes burst open.</p><p>She was mildly surprised when she found an Elf she knew very well staring at her, arms crossed as she held a bottle in her hand.</p><p>Alwenn’s eyes transmitted nothing more than sheer fatigue.</p><p>The eyes of someone that hadn’t slept in a long time and was in dire need to do so.</p><p>They exchanged a stare, judging the state of each other, a deep understanding being silently shared.</p><p>-…I couldn’t sleep. Thought I’d be better off keeping you company.</p><p>Thyia analyzed her.</p><p>The dark bags under her eyes screamed for her to rest.</p><p>Her movements were sluggish, even though she was trying to hide it.</p><p>Thyia could see how she didn’t blink for longer than a normal person should, and then when she <em>did</em> blink, the Elf seemed to make some effort to open her eyes again.</p><p>
  <em>Couldn’t sleep?</em>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Liar.</em> </strong>
</p><p>Maybe she would have teasingly called out Alwenn for refusing sleep just to keep her company if they were in a better situation, but Thyia was actually thankful for her thoughtfulness.</p><p>Being on your own at night in the middle of raging imps, with the looming threat of a ridiculously strong Child of Xiris wasn’t exactly the most fun thing in the world.</p><p>And if she wasn’t going to thank Alwenn, because Divines knew Thyia wasn’t one to openly thank anyone, she would at least save her the embarrassment.</p><p>Without words, Alwenn walked closer, before stretching her arm to let the bottle hover in front of Thyia’s face.</p><p>-I saw you drinking this the other day. You seemed to enjoy it.</p><p>Thyia raised an eyebrow, grabbing the bottle and inspecting it before letting a teasing smile take over her face, looking straight into Alwenn’s eyes.</p><p>-Trying to buy me with booze?</p><p>Alwenn’s response to her coquettish voice was an instant light blush on her cheeks, eyebrows furrowing in anger.</p><p>-<em>You are impossi-!</em></p><p>Thyia didn’t let her finish - knowing that she was in for a huge lecture if she let her keep going - instead kicking Alwenn's feet out from under her.</p><p>Alwenn gasped as she fell, Thyia smoothly grabbing her hip with her free hand to pull her right into her lap, giving her a teasing smirk.</p><p>-Well, you are on the right path.</p><p>She grimaced when Alwenn smacked her head.</p><p>Alwenn quickly left her lap to sit at her side instead, looking somewhat nervous.</p><p>Thyia just chuckled, staring at the sky as Alwenn huffed at her lack of boundaries.</p><p>They sat in silence for a bit, long enough for the Elf to calm down, hugging her knees as she stared at the sky as well.</p><p>-How are you…?</p><p>It had been a whisper, but Thyia had heard it clearly.</p><p>-Between beating ugly creatures to death, having to control a wave of Mages and Warlocks that do not get along, having to hear a lecture from a stupid King that knows nothing of war or how to be a General, and almost getting strangled by some weird faceless human-sized monster, the day was great, thank you!</p><p>Alwenn gave her a scolding stare- with a hint of worry - at her dark irony. Thyia dismissed it by grabbing the bottle and taking a good gulp directly from it.</p><p>-No one ever said life was easy.</p><p>Alwenn sighed, unconsciously bringing up a hand to rub her eyes when the sigh turned into a yawn. Her head bobbed a little before she regained composure, blushing slightly while hoping that Thyia hadn’t noticed.</p><p>Thyia did notice, but was kind enough to not point it out, instead taking another gulp from the bottle.</p><p>Knowing Alwenn, she must have been days without sleeping to reach that breaking point of tiredness.</p><p>Even so, she could be very stubborn when she wanted something, and, apparently, she was set on keeping Thyia company for the night.</p><p>They went silent for some minutes until Alwenn spoke again.</p><p>-Are you scared?</p><p>Thyia blinked at the soft-spoken question.</p><p>Apparently, tired Alwenn could become very straightforward.</p><p>She actually took some time to mull over the question.</p><p>
  <em>Was she scared?</em>
</p><p>Yes, she was.</p><p>Beyond scared.</p><p>She only knew one way for them to win that war.</p><p>But no way for <em>her</em> to win.</p><p>And it left a weight on the pit of her stomach.</p><p>There wasn’t much worth living for, but dying is never a thing that our brain wants to completely agree to.</p><p>-No.</p><p>It was all that left her mouth.</p><p>She was just like that.</p><p>Hiding her weaknesses.</p><p>Pretending everything was okay.</p><p>It was the only way she knew how to live.</p><p>-You’re a really good liar.</p><p>Thyia rose an eyebrow at the sudden call out.</p><p>But she was quick to disguise her surprise with a smirk.</p><p>-Does it scare you?</p><p>Alwenn barely reacted, only swaying a bit from side to side while rubbing her closed eyes.</p><p>-No. I trust you.</p><p>Thyia’s body became tense.</p><p>
  <em>That’s a first.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Since when did anyone trust her?</em>
</p><p><strong> <em>Why </em> </strong> <em>would anyone in their right mind trust her?</em></p><p>She shook away those thoughts.</p><p>One more gulp from the bottle.</p><p>-Careful, <em>Love</em>. – Her voice was low, as intimidating as she could make it. -<em>Warlocks have no honor</em>.</p><p>But, once more, Alwenn barely reacted.</p><p>-It’s ok. -A soft yawn left her mouth, her words becoming more sluggish and lower as she talked, until they turned into a whisper. -<em>You’re much more than just a Warlock</em>.</p><p>Thyia’s heart gave a jump in her chest both at her words and at the sudden weight she had on her side.</p><p>Alwenn had finally succumbed to exhaustion, falling asleep against her.</p><p>----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>Days went by.</p><p>The imps attacked relentlessly.</p><p>For each one they destroyed, two others seemed to pop out of nowhere.</p><p>The stress was peaking for everyone.</p><p>With the relentless waves, Thyia had been busy day and night ordering the soldiers around, planning the next steps, organizing teams of attack and of defense, and putting up with the King’s tantrums.</p><p>Alwenn herself had been far too busy tending to the wounded and fighting almost every second of the day to rest.</p><p>It wasn’t a surprise that in such a dire situation, Alwenn hadn’t been able to do more than occasionally spot the General in the distance, either fighting or screaming orders, more often than not both.</p><p>She sighed as the moon appeared.</p><p>It didn’t mean that the day was over -it was the exact opposite in fact- but Aveus ordered her vehemently to take some rest at night.</p><p>She didn’t sleep, but she did take a break from using her Surge. She wouldn’t be any help if she died of exhaustion.</p><p>She walked around the tents lifelessly, occasionally hearing either a soft breath of someone sleeping or a morbid moan from someone on their deathbed.</p><p>She sighed once more, feeling sick to her stomach.</p><p>She was strong. She was used to fighting. She could take war. She could raise her head and push through all the pain around her and even her own.</p><p>But pushing through doesn’t mean not suffering.</p><p>She walked aimlessly, hating being in limbo.</p><p>She was on rest. She couldn’t use her Surge. She couldn’t help others.</p><p>But she couldn’t sleep either.</p><p>Her nerves were far too high.</p><p>It made her face contort fiercely every second of the day, never relaxing.</p><p>A face worthy of a soldier.</p><p>There were only two people in that battlefield who could make that mask fall.</p><p>-Will you ever truly rest, Alwenn?</p><p>
  <em>Speak of the devil.</em>
</p><p>-I can rest when I’m dead, Aveus.</p><p>The old man sighed.</p><p>He gently approached her, intertwining his arm with hers and slowly guiding her through the tents.</p><p>Alwenn said nothing, letting him decide their path.</p><p>She did not dare look at his face.</p><p>Last time she had done so, the hollow look she found had haunted her for days.</p><p>They stopped at a more secluded place, with only a campfire and some rocks that served as seats.</p><p>Aveus motioned for her to sit, and so she did. He followed after.</p><p>They sat in quiet camaraderie for a bit, appreciating the miraculous peace, before Aveus spoke up.</p><p>-We have lost 37 more of our people today. -Alwenn’s body shook in sudden sickness. -Or so I’ve been told. Most bodies are left on the battlefield. Some aren’t even recognizable once the imps are done with them. The list I’ve been given were of the few that were lucky enough to have their bodies brought back.</p><p>Alwenn didn’t say anything.</p><p>There was nothing to be said.</p><p>Another silent moment.</p><p>Those had become a routine.</p><p>They needed those moments to think by themselves.</p><p>To internalize things.</p><p>To stay sane.</p><p>-The Warlocks have been unstable lately.</p><p>Alwenn rose an eyebrow at Aveus’ sudden statement, and then scoffed.</p><p>-And that’s news?</p><p>When he didn’t answer her, she finally took courage to look closely at his face.</p><p>She found exactly what she expected.</p><p>
  <em>The tired look of a dead man.</em>
</p><p>-The General has been running crazy trying to keep them from killing each other.</p><p>Alwenn’s heart jumped as soon as Thyia was mentioned.</p><p>Aveus’ exhausted eyes stared straight at her own.</p><p>-It’s Xiris, Alwenn. Her influence is making them go insane.</p><p>The Dinean said nothing for a bit.</p><p>She was suddenly fascinated with the many ways she could link her fingers together, staring at them instead than at Aveus.</p><p>She opened her mouth to speak and quickly closed it again.</p><p>Her cheeks were dusted an almost unnoticeable red as she opened it one more time, after some hesitation.</p><p>-And how has the General been holding up?</p><p>Aveus politely feigned to not notice the red cheeks, the fidgeting, the sudden spark in her eyes.</p><p>-She does what she can. She’s a strong woman. One of the strongest I’ve ever met.</p><p>Alwenn’s lips curled into a small smile at his words, eyes growing softer.</p><p>-<em>Yes. She is.</em></p><p>Aveus was a wise man.</p><p>He would not point out the obvious.</p><p>Another silence moment took over, until their so loved peace was interrupted yet again.</p><p>Both lifted their heads as they saw a fellow mage approach them, his face as sleep deprived as theirs.</p><p>-I’ve done what you asked, Archmage.</p><p>Aveus nodded.</p><p>-Thank you. I’m sure she appreciates it.</p><p>The mage gave a hesitant look at Alwenn before setting his eyes on Aveus again.</p><p>-You may speak. As we both know, Alwenn is trustworthy.</p><p>The mage cleared his throat at Aveus’ words, nervously scratching his neck.</p><p>Alwenn raised an eyebrow, wondering what he wanted to say.</p><p>-Archmage, are you sure it’s a good idea to give the General <em>that</em> amount of belrin roots?</p><p>Alwenn’s heart jumped, as it always did whenever Thyia was the theme of the conversation.</p><p>Aveus chuckled, a tired raspy sound.</p><p>-Her brain works better under belrin roots. Or, at least, that’s what she says.</p><p>Alwenn sighed in hopelessness.</p><p>-We all know that’s just a pretext for her to have as much as she wants.</p><p>Aveus hummed.</p><p>-<em>Touché</em>. But as long as she shows results, we can’t contradict her.</p><p>The young mage just exchanged glances between them, a worried and bewildered look at their dismissal of the situation.</p><p>-Isn’t it dangerous to let the one our lives depend on get high? Especially when she is… well…</p><p>Alwenn’s heart clenched. A sense of protectiveness washed over her.</p><p>-When she is <em>what</em>?</p><p>The boy was taken aback by the prosecuting tone, slightly scared, but pushed through to voice his thoughts.</p><p>-Well… She… is a Warlock. They aren’t exactly the most reliable people.</p><p>Alwenn’s eyes squinted, giving him a deadly look.</p><p>She opened her mouth, ready to list everything Thyia had done for them until that point, all the lives she had saved with her amazing skills as General, all the imp waves they had been able to win over thanks to her quick thinking and iron grip, all the nights she had stayed awake, planning, working, fighting, protecting, all to win that war, one way or another.</p><p>But she did not have the chance to even let the first word out, because Aveus placed a heavy hand on her shoulder that immediately made her close her mouth, gulping down the words.</p><p>-Do not worry, boy. The General won’t let us down. <em>I’m sure of it</em>.</p><p>His tone left no room for discussion.</p><p>The young mage was smart enough to know when to retreat, and so he did, praying that Alwenn would not get up from her seat and give him the lecture of his life.</p><p>He did not have to worry about it, for Alwenn was more interested in staring at her hands as he left, abashed that she had almost lost composure in front of Aveus so easily.</p><p> </p><p>Aveus was a wise man.</p><p>He would not point out the obvious.</p><p> </p><p>It wasn’t like he needed to.</p><p>
  <em>She already knew.</em>
</p><p>----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>
  <em>Pandemonium.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Hell.</em>
</p><p>Whatever name the Divines had decided to give the so-called place of torture, Alwenn was sure that she had found it.</p><p>
  <em>And there was no way to escape.</em>
</p><p>She had been running all week from one side of the battlefield to the other, fighting sudden imp waves and healing others.</p><p>That week had pushed her like no other.</p><p>The imps had given it their all on that last assault and people stopped trying to count the losses.</p><p>Alwenn had used her Surge to the limit and her body was paying for it.</p><p>She finally succumbed.</p><p>She didn’t have the strength to even try to deny her exhaustion.</p><p>She was covered in bruises, wounds, sweat and blood.</p><p><em>Most of the last one was not from her</em>.</p><p>She could barely stand, her legs failing her.</p><p>She felt nauseous from the morbid smell of dead comrades around her.</p><p>She was in such a bad shape that Aveus was called to put an end to her stubbornness.</p><p>He did not leave space for discussion as he helped her move to the nearest tent, and she did not try to fight it when he told her to rest.</p><p>Her head hung, body too tired to support it, as she sat on the ground against the tent’s wall.</p><p>Sleep came rather easily.</p><p>But Alwenn found herself waking up screaming minutes later, dreams of slaughtered companions haunting her.</p><p>She quickly bit her hand to hide her scream.</p><p>She looked around, breathing in relief when she found out that no one was looking her way.</p><p>They either didn’t notice, or they didn’t care.</p><p>Alwenn put her bets on the last one.</p><p>And she did not blame them.</p><p>Divines knew that screams were what they heard the most in the past month.</p><p>Her eyes were too heavy, so she indulged, closing them again.</p><p>But as soon as she began to doze off, the only images in her head were of those disgusting, merciless creatures, showing off their bare teeth in lust for blood, eyes shining in deep insanity.</p><p>Her eyes shot open again.</p><p>Her ribcage heaved as she tried to calm her breathing.</p><p>She gave up on sleeping, knowing she would only get the same result if she kept trying.</p><p>She got up, despite her leg’s protests, and left the tent to walk around for a bit.</p><p>She felt dizzy, but she did not stop her aimless stroll.</p><p>She lost track of time and space as she passed by the many tents, letting her feet guide her to wherever they wanted to go.</p><p>Her mind was too busy racing through thousands of morbid thoughts to take control of her body.</p><p>She did not care where she was going, just casually avoiding one obstacle or another.</p><p>She got more immersed in her thoughts the longer she walked, until she completely lost perception of her surroundings.</p><p>It was no surprise that she bumped into someone.</p><p>-Hey! How about you watch where you're going, bitch?</p><p>The aggressive scream made her wince, head hurting from the noise.</p><p>She looked at the man she had bumped into.</p><p>He had two male friends behind him and, although they were all different, the three looked the exact same to Alwenn.</p><p>Intimidating stature, arms crossed, predator face and tattoos covering almost every inch of their skin.</p><p>
  <em>Ah.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Warlocks.</em>
</p><p>The man she had bumped into took a better look at her, his face contorting into something more animalistic as his eyes studied her face.</p><p>-Ah… <em>A Mage</em>.</p><p>Alwenn did not like the cocky smirk he gave her.</p><p>She did not like the way his eyes roamed her body appreciatively and she definitely did not like when he looked at his friends, motioning her with his head.</p><p>-<em>Isn’t she a pretty doll</em>?</p><p>The last word had Alwenn’s eyes burning with anger, sickness settling even more firmly in the pit of her stomach.</p><p>The two friends grinned maliciously, and Alwenn automatically took a step back, away from them.</p><p>She instinctively looked around herself, only to verify what she already feared: there was no one else there.</p><p>
  <em>She was on her own.</em>
</p><p>She was about to give another step back when the man grabbed her arm fiercely.</p><p>-Now, now. Leaving without saying goodbye? -His hand gripped tighter, voice lowering to a deep, dangerous tone. -<em>Don’t you have manners</em>?</p><p>Alwenn would have tried to struggle.</p><p>Try to put some kind of resistance to whatever the man was planning.</p><p>
  <em>But she didn’t.</em>
</p><p>Her body was frozen.</p><p>She did not know if the reason was exhaustion, or simple <em>fear</em>.</p><p>Not for his stature.</p><p>Nor for the fact that there were three of them.</p><p>Divines knew Alwenn had fought many fights in her life, and size and number had never been an obstacle for her.</p><p>But there was something weird in his eyes.</p><p>Something that completely petrified her, leaving her legs wobbly and her throat dry.</p><p>She had never seen that look on anything other than the demons they were fighting against.</p><p>Alwenn was used to Warlock’s insanity.</p><p>She knew how far deep it could go.</p><p>Or she thought she knew.</p><p>But looking at his completely hollow, twisted look, Alwenn could only shudder as realization dawned on her.</p><p>“<em>It’s Xiris, Alwenn. Her influence is making them go insane.”</em></p><p>Alwenn’s heart clenched.</p><p><em>She knew nothing</em>.</p><p>
  <em>How could anything else in the world have such a terrifying dark energy other than a Child of Xiris?</em>
</p><p>She was so, so scared of those eyes.</p><p>
  <em>And so, so, so tired.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She couldn’t think logically.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She didn’t have the energy to.</em>
</p><p>She could only tremble as the huge man’s smile turned bigger, more menacing – something Alwenn didn’t think was possible – shutting her eyes and waiting for whatever would happen.</p><p>-<em>Hands off, Dorian</em>.</p><p>Alwenn’s heart almost jumped out of her chest at the familiar voice.</p><p>The Warlock’s face – Dorian, apparently – became as pale as a ghost.</p><p>His head spun so fast to look behind him that Alwenn thought he might break his neck.</p><p>-<em>G-General</em>…</p><p>Alwenn slowly turned to look over his shoulder.</p><p>She was met with a pair of purple eyes.</p><p>Those eyes held a stare that, despite being even more menacing than those of the men, emanating nothing more than pure blood-lust, made her feel the safest she had since she stepped foot on that damn mountain, one month ago.</p><p>All three Warlocks were frozen, staring at Thyia with googly eyes, scared by the monstrous energy that was completely directed at them.</p><p>Dorian slowly removed his hand from Alwenn’s arm, like prey avoiding brusque movements to not encourage his predator to attack.</p><p>None of the Warlocks were insane enough yet to test the General’s rage.</p><p>She was a legend on the battlefield, and they were not about to become her next three kills.</p><p>A small narrowing of Thyia’s eyes was all it took for the Warlocks to run away as fast as their legs could carry them.</p><p>Alwenn just stood in place, still petrified by what had <em>almost</em> happened.</p><p>She barely noticed when Thyia walked closer to her, numbly feeling some kind of cloth being draped around her shoulders.</p><p>She gently touched it, her mind slowly processing that it was a blanket.</p><p>Her eyes finally focused on the General’s face.</p><p>She didn’t know how to feel about the bags under Thyia's eyes .</p><p>How to feel about the lack of light in those eyes.</p><p>How to feel about the feeble look behind the strong façade she portrayed.</p><p>Alwenn was too tired to feel.</p><p>But even so, there were two things inside her that were easy to distinguish.</p><p>She felt <em>safe</em>.</p><p>And she felt<em> completely enthralled </em>by the woman in front of her.</p><p>They said nothing as they stared each other down.</p><p>It had become common between them.</p><p>Talking used energy, and they needed that to survive each day.</p><p>And besides…</p><p><em>They didn’t need the words</em>.</p><p>She slowly leant down until her head rested in the crook of Thyia’s neck.</p><p>She breathed out in a sudden miraculous peace when Thyia’s arms went protectively around her, hands slowly brushing her hair.</p><p>She had never realized just how close to breaking she was.</p><p>She thought she was used to it by then.</p><p>Used to all the pain, the danger, the imminence of death.</p><p>She thought she was strong.</p><p>She never thought the day would come where she would be paralyzed by exhaustion and fear.</p><p>And she certainly never thought the day would come where she would break down in tears in the arms of her General.</p><p>--------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>Alwenn didn’t remember much of what happened after.</p><p>She vaguely remembered being guided to a tent and blacking out from exhaustion.</p><p>She did not remember what path they had taken.</p><p>If they had encountered anyone on the way.</p><p>Nor which tent was she guided to.</p><p>It didn’t really matter, until Alwenn found herself waking up shrouded by a completely different scent than her own, on bedsheets that were definitely not hers and with much more space than her tent could provide.</p><p>She slowly turned her head from one side to the other to take a look around.</p><p>She knew she would have a massive headache if she tried to get up right away.</p><p>She spotted some herbs on a corner of the tent.</p><p>She recognized them as plants with healing properties.</p><p>
  <em>Why was she on a healer’s tent?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maybe Thyia had taken her there due to how tired she was.</em>
</p><p>Her eyes circled the tent a bit more, only to spot another type of herbs not so far away from the first ones.</p><p>She barely had the strength to roll her eyes.</p><p>
  <em>Belrin roots.</em>
</p><p>She proceeded with her inspection, and her eyes landed on a paper mess, all over a table and the ground.</p><p>There were big scrolls, small notes, in-between parchments and a huge map.</p><p>Alwenn had just woken up, and she didn’t feel like deciphering all the apparently complex content while squinting to see the letters in the distance.</p><p>She was ready to dismiss the case by turning around, close her eyes and sleep for <em>just a few more minutes</em>.</p><p>She could deal with finding where she was later.</p><p>It seemed like a good plan.</p><p>But then her eyes caught sight of a familiar green cape and gray scarf, and her heart throbbed.</p><p>Despite all logic she shot upright, and was immediately rewarded with motion sickness.</p><p>She bent over to try to calm down her throbbing head.</p><p>-Oh, you are awake.</p><p>
  <em>Fuck.</em>
</p><p>Alwenn timidly turned her head to look at the entrance of the tent.</p><p>Thyia had her arms crossed and her usual smirk, wearing only her white top, her pants and her boots, without all her usual layers.</p><p>Alwenn could not help but let her eyes wander over her figure, noticing how she seemed smaller without them.</p><p>Thyia’s exposed neck and shoulders were so slim and elegant.</p><p>Her hips were even more noticeable -her tight pants surely did them justice. Her  curves were more pronounced overall.</p><p>Alwenn felt her face getting slightly hotter and her stare quickly slid up again, finding Thyia’s amethyst eyes.</p><p>She was met with the same strength and resolution and fierceness she always found in there.</p><p>The kind that always made her legs go weak and her words go astray.</p><p>She found herself in some kind of trance, one that happened so many times around the General, wanting nothing more than to just get up and put her arms around that beautiful woman.</p><p>Thyia’s eyes narrowed as her voice took on a more teasing tone.</p><p>-You are looking at me like I’m breakfast.</p><p>Alwenn was abashed, face instantly on fire, eyebrows furrowing.</p><p>She opened her mouth to scold Thyia’s indecent antics and deny her accusation (even if it was true, Thyia didn’t need to know it), but was quick to close it again when the General threw some pieces of cloth at her.</p><p>The Dinean rose an eyebrow as she unfolded the cloth, only for it to reveal to be some nice and practical clothes, alike to her style.</p><p>Alwenn took five seconds to process that Thyia was giving her clothes, and her eyes went immediately to her own body as soon as she did, wondering the reason behind that.</p><p>She was wearing only a top she had never seen in her life and… panties.</p><p>All color drained from her face.</p><p>Her lips trembled, and she thought she might pass out from how hot she was feeling as she turned to look at Thyia again, a fearful question in her eyes.</p><p>
  <em>No.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>No way.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>No way, right?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>They would have never.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Right?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Yes, she didn’t remember much of last night.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And yes, she knew Thyia wasn’t exactly hands off.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But that didn’t mean that anything had happened.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Right?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She would remember if that had happened.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Right?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But then why was she in panties in Thyia’s bed-</em>
</p><p>-Yes, Alwenn, I ravaged you thoroughly last night.</p><p>Thyia’s tone was so mocking that for a second all Alwenn wanted was to punch that cheeky smile off her face, blood rising to her face full force due to Thyia’s teasing.</p><p>Instead, she managed to grab hold of herself and just breath out in relief.</p><p>
  <em>At least her tone meant that nothing had happened.</em>
</p><p>-Where are my clothes?</p><p>Thyia finally walked into the tent, hips swaying with every step she took, as always.</p><p>She approached the table full of papers, grabbing a parchment and unrolling it.</p><p>-Well they weren’t exactly in the best shape, so I thought it would be better to get you some new ones before putting you to bed.</p><p>Alwenn’s cheeks were caught on fire.</p><p>
  <em>Put to bed?</em>
</p><p>Divines, she hated being treated like a child.</p><p>But a sudden thought came to mind, overshadowing that embarrassment with something much worse.</p><p>-…Who… Who undressed me…?</p><p>Thyia’s answer was a small curl on her lips, cheeky smirk coming up again, eyes never leaving the paper.</p><p>-I did. You were already half asleep and I couldn’t get you to take off all those layers.</p><p>Alwenn wanted nothing more than to die in that moment.</p><p>
  <em>The Divines were too cruel for her.</em>
</p><p>-I tried to leave you here and go, you know, grab some clothes, but you held onto me and begged, and I quote, “Please, stay. I want to be with you”. So I didn’t have much of a choice than to give you one of my tops. I didn’t have any spare pants though.</p><p>Alwenn felt her legs tremble as she stared agape at Thyia.</p><p>
  <em>Did she really say that?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>What was she thinking?</em>
</p><p>-Well, both that and the fact that when you finally fell asleep and I went to get you some clothes, Kyra caught me and pretty much kicked my ass, telling me to get some sleep, or I wouldn’t even make it to the final battle.– Thyia told her nonchalantly, giving more attention to the paper in her hands. – She told me I was only allowed to get those clothes in the morning, after I had slept a couple hours. I told her I just needed to bring the clothes and then I would rest, but she told me that it was her warranty, and I would never have those clothes if I didn’t shut up and do as she told. Honestly, why do we have such a steely healer?</p><p>Alwenn hadn’t even listened to what Thyia had been saying, too lost in her own thoughts.</p><p>She gulped, looking at the bedsheets while fidgeting.</p><p>She already feared the answer, but she had to ask anyways.</p><p>-Where… Did you sleep…?</p><p>Thyia lift her eyes from the paper at Alwenn’s whisper, raising an eyebrow in amusement.</p><p>-Well, in my bed. But I guarantee that it was just <em>sleep</em>.</p><p>Alwenn just slowly slid down until her head hit the bedsheets.</p><p>She turned her back to Thyia as she pushed the blanket over her head.</p><p>The muscles in her face hurt from how hard she was trying to keep herself from screaming, red as a tomato.</p><p>Of course she knew nothing had happened.</p><p>Of course she knew they were just friends.</p><p>Of course she knew that - and <em>oh, the irony</em> – Thyia had done it all in an <em>innocent</em> act to help her.</p><p>But even so, the simple thought that the woman she just happened to have a massive crush on had undressed her and slept with her while in just a top and panties and <em>she didn’t even remember it</em> had her wanting to choke herself in those bedsheets from the embarrassment.</p><p>She suddenly felt a weight landing right next to her back.</p><p>She slid down the blanket from her head just enough to be able to peek through it.</p><p>Thyia had sat down, reading the paper.</p><p>After around 5 minutes, Alwenn’s curiosity won over her.</p><p>She carefully sat up, head hovering next to Thyia’s.</p><p>-What is that?</p><p>-Reports from the other divisions. They send me them regularly so that I know if my presence is needed on their side.</p><p> Alwenn’s eyes skimmed through the paper.</p><p>The report was full of numbers of casualties, specific places overthrown by the imps, level of rations, state of healers and soldiers.</p><p>Reading those made Alwenn’s heart clench once again, but this time for a very different reason.</p><p>She decided to stop reading it, focusing instead on Thyia’s face.</p><p>
  <em>Divines, she was so beautiful when she concentrated.</em>
</p><p>The way her eyes analyzed every word and the way she seemed to make millions of plans as she read.</p><p>Alwenn could almost see the gears moving inside her brain.</p><p>
  <em>Divines, she loved her brain.</em>
</p><p>Her face was calm but fierce.</p><p>An expression that emanated such a strong energy.</p><p>Alwenn felt safe once again.</p><p>
  <em>Divines, how did she always make her feel so safe?</em>
</p><p>She didn’t know for how long she just stood there, appreciating every single quality of the woman in front of her.</p><p>She only noticed she had been staring when said woman got up, placing the parchment on top of the table and grabbing her cape and scarf, putting them on.</p><p>-I have to go. Have to talk with Logan about the situation on the east. -She explained, placing the rest of her usual layers around her hips, alongside the belt.</p><p>She then grabbed some Belrin roots, placing them on her pouch.</p><p>Alwenn rolled her eyes but didn’t say anything.</p><p>Divines knew Thyia would need all the help she could get to deal with her King.</p><p>-Oh, and Alwenn?</p><p>The Dinean’s head shot up to meet her eyes, wondering what she wanted.</p><p>-Put those clothes on and stay here. You need to sleep. It’s an order.</p><p>Thyia didn’t have to add that last part.</p><p>Alwenn was too busy melting with the soft smile she had given her to even dream about arguing.</p><p>----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>-I’m telling you, General! You never take me seriously!</p><p>Thyia smirked as she heard the familiar whine, eyes still fixed on the parchment in front of her.</p><p>The small woman next to her was undeterred, arms crossed as she looked confidently at her from where she was sitting on the table.</p><p>-Believe me! The guy was a <em>master</em> at it. Ka’gash are <em>amazing</em>.</p><p>Thyia couldn’t help but giggle, finally giving up as she rolled up the paper, placing it on top of the table.</p><p>She had been stuck on the same sentence for 10 minutes.</p><p>Trying to ignore the Dwarf at her side was a terrible mistake.</p><p>She eyed the woman with amusement.</p><p>-Will you ever give up on your Ka’gash preaching, Nora?</p><p>Einnora rolled her eyes in response.</p><p>-Oh, c’mon. I’m sure you could find yourself one to test what I’m saying. -She smirked evilly while lightly shaking Thyia’s arms. -It’s an <em>unforgettable experience</em>, you know?</p><p>Thyia just laughed again.</p><p>She had heard those words from Einnora too many times, always aimed at the same subject.</p><p>-Yes, Nora. I’m sure it is.</p><p>The Dwarf huffed, shaking her arm again.</p><p>-I know you, General. You obviously don’t have trouble getting a man and I’m sure you could easily get a night with a Ka’gash. -She shrugged with a cocky smirk as she winked at Thyia. -I’m just trying to show you the best the world has to give.</p><p>Thyia sighed amusedly in hopelessness.</p><p>
  <em>Dwarves.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>So stubborn.</em>
</p><p>She turned her head to look outside of her tent, searching for another topic she could bring up to escape Einnora’s desire of getting her a Ka’gash hookup.</p><p>Maybe even convince her to go do something else for a while, as Thyia needed to finish reading that report.</p><p>However, instead of a distraction for Einnora, she found a distraction for herself, eyes completely glued on the form she found outside.</p><p>She watched attentively as Alwenn talked with another mage, apparently about a serious matter.</p><p>She was somewhat far away, but Thyia could see her concentrated face and the shake of her leg.</p><p>Alwenn just couldn’t hide it whenever she was worried.</p><p>Thyia smiled fondly at that thought.</p><p>
  <em>How adorable.</em>
</p><p>She wondered just what had happened that time to leave her in that state.</p><p>She took a moment to just admire the woman.</p><p>Her fancy style, her beautiful hair, her gorgeous body, her overly cute expressions.</p><p>She let herself get deeper in the hole that was appreciating the Elf, until she was barely aware of her surroundings.</p><p>However, despite her trance, Thyia did notice the lack of background noise so common whenever Einnora was around.</p><p>She managed to tear her eyes away from Alwenn and look down at said Dwarf, curious.</p><p>She was met with a cocky, know-it-all smirk, as Einnora stared back at her with a glint in her eyes.</p><p>-Well, I guess your “best the world has to give” isn’t exactly amazingly muscular men.</p><p>Thyia just blinked, hardly keeping her cool.</p><p>
  <em>Well.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Shit.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Alwenn sighed as she watched her colleague walk away.</p><p>
  <em>Divines, war is so difficult.</em>
</p><p>She looked absently to the side, thinking about the hard news the other mage had given her.</p><p>Her heart almost jumped out of her chest when she saw Thyia walking in her direction, hips and hair swaying with the movement.</p><p> </p><p>Thyia had asked Einnora to stay in the tent as she had something quick to do, eager to leave those judging eyes behind.</p><p>She knew perfectly well that going to the subject of that judgement was not the smartest idea, but she honestly couldn’t care less as she saw Alwenn’s eyes widen when the Elf’s stare landed on her.</p><p>-Hey. -Thyia smiled as she approached the woman.</p><p>-Good morning. Did anything happen? I thought you were busy with reports today.</p><p>Thyia winced, remembering all the work she had to do.</p><p>-Small break. – She quickly dismissed the situation, promising herself to get back at it as soon as she could. <em>Hopefully without a raging Einnora in the background</em>. –You looked worried back there.</p><p>Alwenn sighed.</p><p>-Just a fellow mage telling me about how everyone is exhausted. Same as always, I suppose. Doesn’t make it any less awful, however.</p><p>There was a moment of silence.</p><p>They knew the war was taken a toll on everyone.</p><p>Almost two months had passed in those conditions after all.</p><p>They did their best to laugh whenever they were lucky enough to have some minutes of peace, so that it was easier to bear.</p><p>No one wanted to just die after suffering for so long. They needed to take their minds off it sometimes.</p><p>But they couldn’t deny how high the tension was.</p><p>Thyia hated it.</p><p>She only knew to joke around when danger was looming.</p><p>She hadn’t lived her life any other way.</p><p>So, joke away she did.</p><p>-Oh, so he came to give bad news? Who would have imagined? -She smirked, eyes narrowing in coyness. -And here I thought he was flirting with you.</p><p>-Why, yes, he did that afterwards. He’s better at it than you’d think.</p><p>Thyia was momentarily surprised that Alwenn had actually followed the lead.</p><p>The Elf smirked back at her.</p><p>Thyia felt a rush of energy wash over her entire being.</p><p>
  <em>Was Alwenn really challenging her?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Fine then.</em>
</p><p><strong> <em>She knows how to play that game</em> </strong> <em>.</em></p><p>-I have no doubts, Love. But I’m pretty sure I can do better than him.</p><p>Alwenn side-eyed her, cheeks turning almost unnoticeably redder, smirk faltering for a second.</p><p>Thyia’s eyes narrowed teasingly at that.</p><p>The Dinean coughed in embarrassment but didn’t back down.</p><p>-Oh, really?</p><p>-Really. In fact, I just remembered. See my friend over there? – Thyia lazily pointed behind herself to the tent where Einnora sat, dissimulating to not being spying on them. Thyia then smirked. – She wants to know if you think I’m cute.</p><p>Alwenn raised an eyebrow, cheeks slightly redder than before, but simply eye rolled.</p><p>-Really? I had expected something better. How many times did you get the girl with that one?</p><p>Thyia just sniggered.</p><p>
  <em>Oh, dear Alwenn.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>This is not a game you can win.</em>
</p><p>-Not once. -In a swift move, she glued her body to Alwenn’s, chest against chest, standing on her tiptoes, hand on the Elf’s cheek to make her look at her, faces dangerously close. -<em>But this might be my lucky day</em>.</p><p>Thyia just watched in delight as Alwenn’s face got completely caught on fire, wide-eyed, lips slightly parted trembling in nervousness.</p><p>She opened and closed her mouth a few times, unable to answer.</p><p>
  <em>Oh, Love.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>So easily flustered.</em>
</p><p>Thyia enjoyed the moment, the contact, the sight for a few more seconds, before breaking out in laughter, letting go of her.</p><p>-<em>Pfft</em>, you should have seen your face. Really, Love, you should practice how to respond to flirting. You make it too easy.</p><p>She did not see the glimpse of hurt that crossed Alwenn’s face at her words.</p><p>And Alwenn did not know that was just Thyia’s defense mechanism.</p><p>She enjoyed spending time with Alwenn.</p><p>She enjoyed her presence, her words, her voice, her laughter.</p><p>But Alwenn was different.</p><p>Flirting with her was much harder than flirting with others.</p><p>Not the act in itself.</p><p>Flirting was part of Thyia’s being at that point, after all.</p><p>But what came after always left the woman scared.</p><p>The fear of rejection.</p><p>The fear that if anything ever happened, it would be just for physical pleasure.</p><p>Thyia was so scared of getting even more attached than she already was.</p><p>She didn’t want to get deeper into that hole, knowing she had no chance with someone like Alwenn.</p><p>She didn’t know how to deal with those feelings that she had never experienced.</p><p>So she simply ran away from them.</p><p>Made fun of them.</p><p>Pretended they weren’t important and didn’t occupy her mind far longer than they should, especially with the situation they were in.</p><p>
  <em>There goes her “No attachments” rule.</em>
</p><p>Thyia sighed, disguising the pain as amusement.</p><p>-Anyway, how have you been? No more working to the limit, I hope?</p><p>Alwenn put a strand of her hair behind her ear, avoiding Thyia’s stare, red-faced.</p><p>-I… Never thanked you for what you did for me, did I? I’m sorry you had to take care of me. It won’t happen aga-</p><p>-Alwenn, I just asked how you are.</p><p>Thyia watched as the Elf looked back into her eyes, seeming flustered.</p><p>Thyia didn’t need a thank you. She didn’t know how to react to those.</p><p>Alwenn seemed to stop for a second to think about what to answer.</p><p>-I’m… As fine as anyone in this situation could be, I suppose. Everyone has been able to breathe a bit more lately. The waves have seemed to grow somewhat smaller these last few days…</p><p>Thyia looked up at the sky above them, contemplatively.</p><p>
  <em>Red sky.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Divines she hated that sky so much.</em>
</p><p>-He must be getting ready.</p><p>She could feel Alwenn’s eyes on her.</p><p>She didn’t look at her, focusing instead on a particular huge mountain.</p><p>-Thar’akith is conserving energy. He’s getting ready for the final battle.</p><p>Alwenn said nothing to that.</p><p>There was nothing that could be said after all.</p><p>Except a single question.</p><p>-…Can we defeat him?</p><p>Thyia finally looked into her eyes.</p><p>Beautiful lime green eyes shining with worry and sadness.</p><p><em>But also with indubitable determination</em>.</p><p>Thyia smiled sweetly at that, in an attempt to comfort Alwenn.</p><p>
  <em>She knew how to do it.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She knew how to free everyone from that pain.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She only had to not fail.</em>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>And to let go of the little will she still had to live.</em> </strong>
</p><p>She gently placed her hands on Alwenn’s shoulders, simply looking straight into her eyes.</p><p>She enjoyed the way Alwenn slightly tensed under her touch, lightly flustered, the way her eyes locked on Thyia’s and refused to let go.</p><p>The way they somehow shared all their feelings between each other with just that eyes’ meeting.</p><p>-<em>We have to. So we will.</em></p><p>----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>
  <em>She was not there.</em>
</p><p>Alwenn knew very well the reason behind that.</p><p>Her heart ached in a way it had never before as she stared at the General’s tent.</p><p>She stood still by the entrance for some more seconds, like if she waited enough Thyia’s head would pop out of it.</p><p>
  <em>She knew it wouldn’t.</em>
</p><p>Her feet somehow dragged her back to her own tent under the dim moonlight, feeling dejected and frustrated.</p><p>
  <em>It was okay.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It didn’t matter.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It wasn’t important anyway.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>They had a huge battle the next day, so who cared about a crush in that moment?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It  wasn’t like this could be Alwenn’s last chance to be honest about her feelings.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It definitely didn’t hurt her that Thyia didn’t care enough about her to see her one last time before the final battle.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And it definitely didn’t hurt her that Thyia had searched for solace in someone else’s arms.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She really did not care that the woman she loved was keeping some other person company for the night.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And she really wasn’t mourning over the fact that that person might have been the blasted Warlock scoundrel that never left her side.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Everything was just fi-</em>
</p><p>A sob cut her thoughts short.</p><p>Her hand quickly covered her mouth in an attempt to stop it, but to no avail.</p><p>Tears soaked her cheeks.</p><p>
  <em>She was really, <strong>really</strong> frustrated.</em>
</p><p>She had finally come to terms with herself.</p><p>She had spent so long trying to gain the courage to just walk up to that woman and let her know how deep her feelings for her went.</p><p>She had spent so long thinking about the words to say, imagining all the scenarios of how things could end up, trying to get a good response for whatever Thyia’s answer would be.</p><p>Her body bent as the sobs grew more consistent, hand still trying to muffle the sound.</p><p>She was so mad that she had arrived too late.</p><p>She was so mad that she had lost her possibly last chance.</p><p>But worse than feeling mad, she felt <em>rejected</em>.</p><p>
  <em>So, did Thyia really have no interest in her?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Was she really the only one with those stupid feelings?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The only one whose heart jumped at the smallest smile, the quickest word, the softest movement of the other?</em>
</p><p>It was ridiculous how something like that left her so vulnerable.</p><p>She barely cried in the two months they spent in that hell.</p><p>She barely cried when faced with all the pain and misery and death they had found.</p><p>But the mere thought of Thyia not reciprocating her feelings, of Thyia being with someone else in that moment, got her stomach churning, her legs weak, her heart throbbing in pain.</p><p>Maybe it had just been the last straw to all the stress she had accumulated.</p><p>Or maybe she just hadn’t realized how much love could hurt until that moment, even in the situation they were in.</p><p>
  <em>She really thought they were getting somewhere.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She really had hopes for a second back there.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She didn’t know why, but she did.</em>
</p><p><em>She</em> weakly got into her bed.</p><p>She wrapped the bedsheets around her tightly.</p><p>
  <em>She really had hoped that maybe, just maybe, with a bit of luck, she would have been in her arms that night.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She really had hoped she wouldn’t be all on her own in her cold bed like she was in that moment.</em>
</p><p>They could die the next day.</p><p>Maybe only one of them.</p><p>Maybe both.</p><p>If any of those happened, Alwenn would die, sooner or later, with the weight of knowing that she didn’t say all she wanted to.</p><p>There was nothing that scared her more than dying with regrets.</p><p>She still sobbed one more time before exhaustion took over her.</p><p>
  <em>Divines, Thyia. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong> <em>You are so cruel.</em> </strong>
</p><p>-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>--------------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>Alwenn’s grip on the sheets didn’t waiver.</p><p>Her knuckles were white from the strength.</p><p>Her body was still trembling.</p><p>Her eyes were still stinging from the tears.</p><p>She sat in a slightly uncomfortable wooden chair, but she did not care.</p><p>Her head was hidden in her arms, which rested on the bed.</p><p>She raised it just enough to peek through it, breath getting caught up again at the sight she found.</p><p>She couldn’t bring herself to stare for too long at the woman lying in that bed.</p><p>
  <em>Why?</em>
</p><p>Of course, she knew why.</p><p>She knew the reason Thyia, the woman she admired more than anything, the woman she had grown to <em>love</em> in that battlefield, had done such a stupid thing.</p><p>She knew why the General had gone alone to face that horrid monster.</p><p>She knew why that amazing being laid in that state in that bed right in that moment.</p><p>It was because Thyia thought it was the only way.</p><p>
  <em>It was because Thyia thought she deserved it.</em>
</p><p>But the same question kept going on her head.</p><p>Some variations, but the concept was always the same.</p><p>
  <em>Why?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Why didn’t she ask Alwenn for help?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Why didn’t she trust Alwenn to fix things with her?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Why didn’t Alwenn realize that was going to happen?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Why didn’t Alwenn remind her she was there for her?</em>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Why didn’t Alwenn search for her that night?</em> </strong>
</p><p>She knew they wouldn’t make anything get better, but thoughts of guilt still entered her brain.</p><p>Still trembling, she slowly reached out for Thyia’s still hand, covered in bandages, as almost all of her body was.</p><p>Her thumb ran soothingly through its back.</p><p>She knew Thyia was unconscious.</p><p>She knew Thyia wouldn’t feel the love she was trying to transmit.</p><p>But there was still a small spark in her that hoped that her affection would somehow reach her.</p><p>That it would somehow give her strength.</p><p>Thyia’s meek breath didn’t change.</p><p>Alwenn let out a shaky sigh, hiding her head in her arms once more.</p><p>
  <em>What could she do?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>How could she help her?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She had to help her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She had to save her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She couldn’t lose her.</em>
</p><p>The creak of a door sounded behind her.</p><p>Alwenn did not care.</p><p>Nothing but Thyia seemed to matter anymore.</p><p>She only raised her head again when she felt a heavy hand on her shoulder.</p><p>-Corinne says she’ll be okay. -Aveus’ soft voice was almost like a balm for her. <em>Almost</em>. -It will take a while until she wakes up and even more until she completely recovers, but it will eventually happen. She’s just resting now.</p><p>Alwenn looked at him with lifeless eyes.</p><p>-<em>Completely recover</em>?</p><p>Aveus hand flinched where it rested on her shoulder, and she could see how his breath got caught up for a beat too long.</p><p>-Alwenn-</p><p>-She lost her Surge, Aveus.</p><p>The elder said nothing.</p><p>His ocean blue eyes glinted with sadness, a mourning expression softly displayed on his face.</p><p>-She will never get her Surge back, will she?</p><p>Alwenn was not moved by his display of compassion.</p><p>She was too tired to care.</p><p>She was too worried, too frustrated, too stressed, too close to breaking out in tears again.</p><p>Aveus sighed, eyes avoiding hers.</p><p>-…No. She most likely won’t.</p><p>There was nothing more to be said.</p><p>Alwenn simply turned around to face Thyia once more.</p><p>
  <em>Divines, how could she still be alive? </em>
</p><p>She looked so fragile where she laid.</p><p>She looked like porcelain hanging by a thin thread.</p><p>
  <em>So close to breaking apart.</em>
</p><p>Alwenn could not imagine what would happen when she woke up and found the harsh truth.</p><p>Alwenn knew she could not save her from that pain.</p><p>-You have been here all night, Alwenn. You need to eat and rest. The war took its toll on you too.</p><p>She did not care.</p><p>How could she?</p><p>Her hand unconsciously started stroking Thyia’s once more as she looked into her sleeping face.</p><p>She trembled as she watched the bandages covering her left eye.</p><p>Corinne had assured her it would get better, as the wound wasn’t so deep.</p><p>It still didn’t help Alwenn’s heartache.</p><p>Her free hand slowly rose up to brush a strand of Thyia’s hair off her face, thumb softly stroking her bandage-covered cheek.</p><p>
  <em>Divines, what she wouldn’t give to see her amethyst eyes once more.</em>
</p><p>She heard a sigh behind her, followed by footsteps walking away and the same creak of the door, this time closing.</p><p> </p><p>A couple hours later, one of her fellow Mages came in.</p><p>He did not say anything, simply leaving a tray with Wyvern bread, garlic butter escargot and a bottle of Lemongrass cider on the table.</p><p>He left as soon as his task was completed, and the room was silent yet again.</p><p>No one else entered the room that day.</p><p>No one asked Alwenn to rest.</p><p>No one asked Alwenn to leave.</p><p>Alwenn closed her eyes, not being able to stop the small sad smile that appeared on her face.</p><p>
  <em>Aveus.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Always the same wise man.</em>
</p><p>----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>Alwenn ran through the hallways without a care in the world.</p><p>She did not care that her colleagues were looking at her like she was crazy.</p><p>She did not care that some older mages were clearly judging her, while others seemed to wonder if anything serious had happened, to get someone like her in such a rush.</p><p>
  <em>“She’s awake.”</em>
</p><p>Two words.</p><p>That was all it took to set Alwenn’s heart aflame.</p><p>She did not think twice in running out of the door as soon as Aveus told her that.</p><p>
  <em>Thyia is awake.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She can finally look into her eyes.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She can finally hear her voice.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She can finally simply enjoy the fact that that woman is alive.</em>
</p><p>So she did not care when she almost ran over an elder mage.</p><p>She did not care when one of the teachers she worked with launched several curses at her after she knocked the books out of his hands when she bumped into him.</p><p>She did not care when one of her friends called out to her, possibly to ask her if everything was alright.</p><p>All of it was just background noise to Alwenn as she ran as fast as she could to the infirmary.</p><p>And she only stopped once in front of the door, catching her breath, wondering what to do, what to say, how to act.</p><p>
  <em>Was Thyia aware of her surroundings yet?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Did Thyia even want to see Alwenn so soon after she woke up?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Did Thyia already know about her Surge? How would Alwenn explain if she didn’t? To what level would it hurt Thyia? How would Alwenn comfort her? </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Did Alwenn look good?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Divines, what a stupid question to make in a moment like that.</em>
</p><p>The Elf took a deep breath, hand trembling as she grabbed the knob and opened the door.</p><p>Her heart dropped as soon as she spotted the figure sitting on the bed.</p><p>And all the thoughts she had previously disappeared, leaving her mind blank, leaving her stuck at the door, just staring at that woman.</p><p>Thyia still had her bandages on.</p><p>Only the one covering her left eye was gone.</p><p>
  <em>Good thing it recovered, like Corinne promised.</em>
</p><p>She was leaning against plenty of pillows that had been placed behind her in order for her to be able to sit up.</p><p>There was an empty glass on the bedside table. Alwenn suspected it had been filled with water before Thyia chugged it down.</p><p>
  <em>She must have been thirsty after sleeping for so long, after all.</em>
</p><p>Alwenn slowly approached the bed, heart a mess, trying to discern just exactly what expression Thyia had.</p><p>Thyia didn’t look at her.</p><p>She kept staring at her bandage-covered hands like if they were the most fascinating thing in the world.</p><p>Alwenn stopped close enough to look at her properly, but far enough to give her space.</p><p>Some moments passed where nothing happened.</p><p>And then Thyia raised her head.</p><p>Alwenn didn’t think her heart had ever ached like that.</p><p>Alwenn didn’t think anything had ever left her in so much despair.</p><p>The sheer pain behind Thyia’s indifferent eyes was enough to make tears fall through the Elf’s face.</p><p>-…<em>I’m alive.</em></p><p>Those were the first words Alwenn heard from her in a long time.</p><p>Broken words, seeming to almost contain a hidden sob between them.</p><p>
  <em>Like if Thyia was disappointed.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Like if Thyia hadn’t wanted to survive.</em>
</p><p>Alwenn felt her knees get weaker.</p><p>She couldn’t help but launch herself forward, enveloping Thyia in her arms as she sobbed uncontrollably.</p><p>She was careful to not hug Thyia too tight, afraid of hurting her still fresh wounds, but Divines, she wanted nothing more than to hug her firmly and never let her go again.</p><p>-Yes… You are. – Another sob. – <em>You’re alive, Thyia.</em></p><p>She felt hands land on her back, weakly, trembling.</p><p>-…<em>My Surge…</em></p><p>And Alwenn just cried more at those words.</p><p>-I know… I know…</p><p>They didn’t say anything else for a long while.</p><p>Alwenn didn’t let go of her for hours.</p><p>Alwenn just cried, and Thyia just stayed immovable in her arms.</p><p>No one entered the room in that time.</p><p>No one came to bother them.</p><p>Alwenn was sure it was Aveus’ work once more.</p><p>
  <em>She had to remember to thank him for everything.</em>
</p><p>-…I’m fine.</p><p>Thyia’s voice broke through the silence.</p><p>For the first time in many hours, Alwenn slowly let her go, simply leaving her hands lingering on her arms.</p><p>She stared into Thyia’s face, worried.</p><p>-Well I mean, maybe not fine. My back hurts like you wouldn’t believe. Guess I’m getting old.</p><p>What Alwenn couldn’t believe was that Thyia was making jokes at a time like that.</p><p>-You just fought one of the first Children of Xiris. You are not old. You are <em>hurt</em>.</p><p>-Well, so this exaggerated amount of bandages says.</p><p>Alwenn opened her mouth, ready to thoroughly scold Thyia about her stupid jokes when the situation was so awful, but ultimately decided against it.</p><p>Thyia had gone through too much.</p><p>She was probably suffering horribly behind that façade of smirks and smartass answers.</p><p>She could indulge her this time.</p><p>
  <em>Just once.</em>
</p><p>She sighed, wiping the trail of tears all her crying had left behind.</p><p>
  <em>Divines, she felt so tired.</em>
</p><p>-Are you okay? Do you want to eat something? Do you need more water? Are you comfortable? Do you want me to bring you anythi-</p><p>-Alwenn. -Thyia’s voice was secure was she cut through the Dinean’s rant. -Calm down. You are panicking.</p><p>Alwenn noticed the way she was trembling.</p><p>The way her voice broke every so often.</p><p>She took some seconds to just take deep breaths.</p><p>
  <em>Divines, she was supposed to be the one comforting Thyia.</em>
</p><p>-I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m fine now.</p><p>Thyia nodded in acknowledgement.</p><p>And for a moment, they simply stared at each other.</p><p>Alwenn was unsure of what to do.</p><p>Unsure of what to say in that situation.</p><p>
  <em>What do you say to someone who miraculously survived at the cost of losing a part of themselves?</em>
</p><p>She just let herself drown in Thyia’s eyes, running away from questions she couldn’t answer.</p><p>Staring into those eyes, she was reminded yet again of the beauty of the woman in front of her.</p><p>And it was when she felt her heart beat steadily in happiness for the fact that that woman was alive that it dawned on her.</p><p>
  <em>Thyia was alive.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And they were together, alone.</em>
</p><p>Alwenn had prayed for a last chance to be honest with Thyia about her feelings.</p><p>The world had aligned to give her the perfect one.</p><p>She opened her mouth, and then closed it.</p><p>Thyia stared at her, eyebrow raised.</p><p>
  <em>She had to do it.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She had to say it.</em>
</p><p>-…I…</p><p>Alwenn gulped.</p><p>
  <em>Divines, why did it have to be so hard?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She just had to tell her how she felt.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Had she not learnt her lesson yet?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>How many times would she lose her chance?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Until there was no turning back and she lived in regret for the rest of her life?</em>
</p><p>But staring right into Thyia’s tired eyes, Alwenn knew she couldn’t do it.</p><p>It wasn’t the right moment.</p><p>Thyia had lost too much.</p><p>She could pretend to be fine as much as she wanted, but Alwenn knew she felt completely broken.</p><p>Thyia didn’t need a desperate love confession.</p><p>
  <em>She needed a friend.</em>
</p><p>So Alwenn just gently held her hands, looking deeply into her eyes, doing her best to transmit all the love she had for her in that small gesture.</p><p>-No matter what happens, I’ll always be here for you, Thyia. <em>Always.</em></p><p>----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>Thyia swore inside her head all the curses she knew in every single language her mind could reach.</p><p>It was the only thing keeping her mind away from Dasyra, and that was a blessing.</p><p>The healer was completely insufferable, and Thyia would wonder what evilness had she done in her last life to deserve such a thing, if she wasn’t aware that the amount of crimes she had committed in the current one were already more than enough of an answer.</p><p>Dasyra would look at her with such disdain and hatred that Thyia couldn’t believe she had never done anything against the woman.</p><p>It was like she had a personal grudge, even though they have never met.</p><p>Sadly, Dasyra was Corinne’s assistant, and that meant Thyia had to deal with her far more often than she would ever want to.</p><p>Thyia’s stare subconsciously landed on the door as Dasyra sorted out some medications -that the Warlock hoped weren’t poison- on the shelves.</p><p>Part of her hoped that Alwenn would walk through that door and save her from the woman sharing the same air as her in that moment.</p><p>
  <em>Divines, she would almost rather be back in the battlefield.</em>
</p><p>Dasyra must have understood what Thyia was thinking, because she was quick to frown at her, eyes narrowing.</p><p>-Don’t tell me you are expecting Alwenn to visit you today too. She has been coming here almost daily. Hasn’t she done enough for you? -Thyia didn’t even flinch at the freezing tone, used to it. -She’s very busy with her important tasks, you know? She doesn’t have time to indulge someone like you all day.</p><p>-I never asked her to come. She does it because she wants to.</p><p>It was Thyia’s only answer.</p><p>She didn’t even owe it to Dasyra, but she wanted badly to shut that woman up.</p><p>She was tired of the snarky remarks.</p><p>Thyia was already uncomfortable enough staying at the Mages’ place in her state, she didn’t need someone nagging her all day about her weakness.</p><p>But Dasyra was undeterred.</p><p>-I don’t understand why someone like Alwenn would waste her time with someone so ungrateful.</p><p>Thyia was hurt by those words, but she would not give Dasyra the pleasure of knowing it.</p><p>-What is this? Are you jealous by any chance? You could have told me earlier, we could solve this love triangle over a nice cup of tea.</p><p>Dasyra narrowed her eyes in rage.</p><p>-Don’t get cocky, <em>Warlock</em>. This is not your home, and you are strapped to a bed, so stop acting so mighty.</p><p>She had poked two soft spots of Thyia.</p><p>And Thyia didn’t like having her soft spots poked.</p><p>-Careful, <em>Mage</em>. Being <em>strapped to a bed</em> never stopped me from <em>ripping heads off</em>.</p><p>-I'm not afraid of you.</p><p>Dasyra’s response had been fast.</p><p>But not fast enough.</p><p>Thyia had seen the hesitance in her eyes.</p><p>Thyia had seen her body tensing.</p><p>Thyia had seen the way her legs trembled for a second.</p><p>So she just smirked from where she stood, eyes narrowing menacingly.</p><p>-<em>You should be.</em></p><p>And the murderous energy she radiated was all it took for Dasyra to back away, ears falling down in fear.</p><p>She huffed in disdain, grabbing her things and decidedly walking out of the door, trying to keep what little dignity she had left.</p><p>-You are hopeless and a danger to us all. The others will see it soon.</p><p>Thyia just ignored her, breathing in relief as soon as the door closed, rubbing her eyes in exasperation.</p><p>-Xiris, do you take her or do I send her to you?</p><p>
  <em>Well, at least it was good to know she could still <strong>look </strong>mortal.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Divines knew she didn’t feel half of the confidence she pretended to have.</em>
</p><p>Alone, Thyia simply stared at the ceiling, thinking about the convo that had just happened.</p><p>
  <em>“I don’t understand why someone like Alwenn would waste her time with someone so ungrateful.”</em>
</p><p>Thyia’s muscles tensed in rage, but mostly in deep sadness.</p><p>
  <em>Of course she knew that.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Of course she knew she didn’t deserve Alwenn’s attention.</em>
</p><p>And it wasn’t like she was ungrateful.</p><p>Thyia just didn’t know how to thank someone.</p><p>No one had ever done anything for her like Alwenn was doing.</p><p>She didn’t know how to act.</p><p>
  <em>How was she supposed to react to such kindness?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>What even prompted Alwenn to do all that for her?</em>
</p><p>Thyia simply turned in bed to get more comfortable, eyebrows furrowing in sorrow as she felt tiredness wash over her.</p><p>
  <em>Alwenn probably felt pity for her.</em>
</p><p>That thought made Thyia’s stomach churn in displeasure.</p><p>She sighed, decided to just sleep to forget, too tired to fight the dark thoughts that haunted her so often.</p><p>And so she simply laid comfortably against her pillow, letting the sweet comfort of pitch black take over her mind, erasing all her worries temporarily.</p><p>----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>Matild and Vesryn watched as Alwenn walked by them, beaming.</p><p>She had that smile.</p><p>The smile that only took over their teacher’s face whenever she went to visit the Warlock.</p><p>All of her colleagues knew better than to point it out to her, afraid of her rage.</p><p>It didn't stop them from gossiping whenever she was out of earshot though.</p><p> </p><p>Alwenn entered the room after a soft knock.</p><p>She was greeted with the sight of Corinne exchanging Thyia’s bandages.</p><p>Corinne gave her a polite smile while Thyia nodded her head in acknowledgement.</p><p>Alwenn felt her face burn slightly at the sight of a -more than usual- half-naked Thyia.</p><p>The Warlock was only in shorts and with some bandages around her chest.</p><p>Alwenn could see her belly, full of bruises and wounds still not completely recovered.</p><p>It made her stomach churn in displeasure.</p><p>
  <em>Divines, she wanted so bad to be able to get rid of Thyia’s pain.</em>
</p><p>She almost avoided looking at it longer, but something other than the wounds caught her attention.</p><p>
  <em>Was Thyia always that skinny?</em>
</p><p>Alwenn stared at her belly attentively.</p><p>She thought that if Thyia was any skinnier, her ribs would become visible.</p><p>She was pretty sure Thyia had a bit more fat before.</p><p>-You… seem to have gotten thinner. Have you been eating well?</p><p>Thyia’s eyes became sharper as she evaded Alwenn’s stare.</p><p>Corinne said nothing, keeping on exchanging the bandages, but her face seemed to have become harder.</p><p>-I haven’t done exercise, it’s normal that I seem weaker.</p><p>That made sense.</p><p>Alwenn might have believed it.</p><p>…</p><p>
  <em>Might.</em>
</p><p>-Thyia... -Her green eyes glinted, muscles of her face tensing up. -You better not be skipping meals. I’m worried about how frail you are.</p><p>Thyia’s face acquired a disbelieving look.</p><p>-You are always worried about everything.</p><p>-Maybe, but more so about you.</p><p>It had left so naturally.</p><p>It was only after the words were out of her mouth that Alwenn realized how embarrassing they were.</p><p>Her face was lit on fire as she nervously stared at Thyia, wondering what her reaction was.</p><p>Thyia simply had an eyebrow raised up in surprise, which made Alwenn quickly avert her eyes again.</p><p>Or she tried.</p><p>She definitely tried.</p><p>But her eyes kept nervously moving to Thyia’s face, searching for hints of her reaction on her eyes.</p><p>
  <em>Had she already said that she loved her eyes?</em>
</p><p>She watched with a heart clench as Thyia’s surprised stare fell into a slight frown.</p><p>A somewhat… <em>worried</em> frown?</p><p>-<em>Alwenn</em>...</p><p>The elf’s heart jumped at how low and softly her name had left from Thyia’s lips.</p><p>She could feel the worried undertone.</p><p>Her face was even more on fire as her eyes got drowned into that beautiful violet.</p><p>She felt a weird <em>connection</em>.</p><p>No words needed as both girls stared at each other.</p><p>Acknowledging each other’s pain, worry, care for each other.</p><p>Alwenn’s trance only dissipated when she heard a soft giggle on her right.</p><p>-<em>Hehe</em>… It’s so nice to see how well you two get along.</p><p>Alwenn coughed in embarrassment at Corinne’s words.</p><p>Thyia didn’t seem to share her discomfort, rolling her eyes in amusement instead.</p><p>-More like how well I stand her. She pretty much invades my room every day and I can’t really run away from her in this state.</p><p>Alwenn lightly smacked her arm, being careful to not be too harsh.</p><p>Thyia made an exaggerated “<em>Ow</em>!”, rubbing her arm, earning an eye roll from Alwenn.</p><p>-You are a prick.</p><p>-Hey, you would want to run too if you heard the same extremely boring book over and over again.</p><p>-I read you different passages every time, Thyia…</p><p>-How am I supposed to know? I always fall asleep halfway through it.</p><p>-Well, I’m going to read it to you until you like it.</p><p>Thyia sighed dramatically in despair, her body sliding down until she laid on her bed.</p><p>-I can’t believe I’ll have to hear that trash for the rest of my life.</p><p>Alwenn sighed as Corinne laughed.</p><p>-Well, I should probably go now. – The healer smiled as she finished applying the last bandage, getting up to grab her things. -Please don’t get in trouble with Alwenn, Thyia. I would hate to have to fix you up again.</p><p>Thyia eyerolled as she dressed her shirt.</p><p>Corinne just gave her a gentle giggle as she left.</p><p>Alwenn smiled as the door closed.</p><p>-You are lucky to have Corinne around. She’s an extremely talented healer. You are in great hands.</p><p>Thyia rose up an eyebrow.</p><p>-I would be if she was the only one whose hands I was in.</p><p>Alwenn’s face became more serious, a worried frown showing.</p><p>-Has Dasyra been that mean to you?</p><p>Thyia had to hold herself back from letting out a sore laugh.</p><p>-Of course not. I mean, she hasn't tried to poison me <em>yet</em>. I think we are going to be best friends soon.</p><p>Alwenn sighed.</p><p>-If she’s giving you a hard time, maybe I can talk with Aveus and-</p><p>-<em>Don’t</em>.</p><p>Thyia could feel the ice in her own voice.</p><p>And she could see how Alwenn flinched at it.</p><p>She felt a pang of guilt wash over her, fully aware that the elf was just trying to help her.</p><p>But she hated it.</p><p>She hated feeling babysat. Protected. Safe.</p><p>She did not know how to live like that.</p><p>Especially not when she was a stranger.</p><p>An intruder.</p><p>When she was surrounded by people that in any other day would have been her enemies.</p><p>And now she was at their mercy.</p><p>
  <em>How could she let Alwenn vouch for her?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Alwenn had already done more for her than she deserved.</em>
</p><p><strong> <em>They </em> </strong> <em>had done more for her than she deserved. </em></p><p>
  <em>And she had nothing to give them back.</em>
</p><p>So she would live in whatever way she had to.</p><p>Even if it meant having to deal with someone as insufferable as Dasyra.</p><p>Alwenn did not bring up the matter again.</p><p>Instead, she started reading Thyia yet another passage from her book.</p><p>Thyia was grateful for it.</p><p>But she would never tell Alwenn that of course, instead making fun of the name of one of the characters for the thousandth time.</p><p>----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>Another day visiting Thyia.</p><p>Alwenn was always the happiest whenever she was near her.</p><p>She insisted on bringing her book, with hopes that the Warlock would eventually learn to appreciate it, although the future didn’t look very bright on that matter.</p><p>She was reading some excerpts but couldn’t help glancing at the woman on the bed from time to time, worried.</p><p>Alwenn thought that the way Thyia was wobbling was weird.</p><p>And she seemed a bit red…</p><p>Also, it wasn’t that cold, so why was she covering herself with the sheets so tightly?</p><p>She leant over the Warlock, worried, and gently placed her hand on Thyia’s forehead.</p><p>-…Alwenn...? – Thyia rose an eyebrow at her sudden action, but Alwenn was too busy panicking about what she had discovered to care.</p><p>-You... Thyia, why are you so hot?!</p><p>Thyia blinked, seeming to process what Alwenn was talking about, and then smirked teasingly.</p><p>-Why, thank you. I didn’t know you had it in you, Alwenn.</p><p>The Mage’s face was caught on fire.</p><p>-I didn’t mean it like that and you know it!</p><p>-So, I’m <em>not</em> hot?</p><p>-<em>Don’t</em> change the subject! – Alwenn was a mess, red as a tomato. -Do you have a fever? Divines, why do you never tell me when you don’t feel well?</p><p>Thyia avoided her eyes with a guilty look.</p><p>-…I’ll be fine.</p><p>Alwenn sighed, ignoring her and walking to the medication shelf.</p><p>-We have plenty of ways to cure fevers, Thyia. It’s no big deal, you just have to say the word.</p><p>The Mage picked up a bottle from the shelf, approaching Thyia’s bedside table and dropping a small amount of the content in her water.</p><p>-Here, drink this. You’ll feel better soon.</p><p>Thyia sighed, grabbing the glass and chugging the water down.</p><p>She raised an eyebrow as she stared at the empty glass.</p><p>-That… had a strangely pleasant taste.</p><p>Alwenn giggled.</p><p>-It’s the sweetest one. Very effective on children.</p><p>Thyia rose an eyebrow.</p><p>-Did you just call me a child?</p><p>Alwenn giggled.</p><p>-Well, I did use to always take it when I was younger and was sick, back in Dinea. – Alwenn smiled fondly at the memories. -But if I’m being honest, it’s still a favorite of mine, even after all this time. When I was a child, I used to get tired after taking it, and my mother would sing me to sleep. The effect is less tiring on adults, but still as effective.</p><p>-Oh? So your mother sang to you? – Thyia seemed interested. -And can <em>you</em> sing?</p><p>She watched as Alwenn’s eyes dilated and as her cheeks became redder.</p><p>-W-Well… People usually tell me that, yes.</p><p>-Well, I’m up to that. Anything is better than that book, really. – Thyia smirked, earning a quick smack in the shoulder.</p><p>Alwenn huffed in annoyance, but it quickly turned into embarrassment.</p><p>-Do you… really want to listen…?</p><p>Thyia got comfortable against her pillow, focusing all her attention on the Elf.</p><p>-Of course.</p><p>Alwenn got even more embarrassed with the attention, putting a strand of her hair behind her ear before taking a deep breath.</p><p>She closed her eyes, gathering courage, and Thyia leant in, interested in what she was about to hear.</p><p>It was only when Alwenn opened her mouth that Thyia realized that whole conversation had been a huge mistake.</p><p>She gritted her teeth at the ridiculously out of tune sound.</p><p>Her ears protested against the extremely high-pitched noise.</p><p>She had never imagined someone like<em> Alwenn</em> could make that sound.</p><p>She did not even know a person <em>could</em> produce a sound like that with just their mouth.</p><p>It lasted for only one more minute, but it seemed like an eternity for Thyia.</p><p>When she finally stopped, Alwenn opened her eyes and looked at her expectantly, like a student afraid of the grade of a life-changing test.</p><p>Thyia opened her mouth and closed it again.</p><p>“<em>People usually tell me that, yes.”</em></p><p>
  <em>Divines.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>How could they lie to her like that?</em>
</p><p>Thyia decided she had to be honest.</p><p>Alwenn was better off knowing the truth than getting hurt later on.</p><p>She was ready to be harsh if she had to.</p><p>-That was…</p><p>Alwenn looked at her with bright eyes, flushed cheeks, small concentrated frown.</p><p>
  <em>Fuck.</em>
</p><p>-…amazing.</p><p>And Thyia hated how her heart swelled inside her chest as Alwenn’s smile grew bigger and small cute wrinkles appeared in the corner of her eyes.</p><p>How she felt a sudden rush of happiness at the red cheeks and even brighter eyes of the woman in front of her.</p><p>Thyia hated how it made her feel so dangerously comfortably warm.</p><p>She hated knowing that there was no escape from those feelings.</p><p>Hated knowing she could not do what she was so good at doing anymore: <em>running away</em>.</p><p>So she just stared helplessly at Alwenn’s proud face, at how her hands cutely fidgeted with one another in embarrassment, at how her hair swayed so easily with the softest of movements.</p><p>And she just silently resigned herself to her fate.</p><p><em>She was never getting over that woman</em>.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>And she might enjoy out of tune singing now.</em>
</p><p>----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>-Thyia? What are you doing?</p><p>Alwenn raised an eyebrow from where she stood on the doorway of the infirmary, watching Thyia slowly place her legs out of the bed.</p><p>She had just arrived for one more usual visit and was not expecting that sight.</p><p>-Corinne said I could start walking around a bit. According to her, I need to make my legs get used to walking again, anyway.</p><p>Alwenn carefully observed as Thyia seemed to make an effort to get up, legs trembling.</p><p>She didn’t move, unsure if Thyia wanted her help or not.</p><p>However, when the Warlock lost strength right after managing to get up and fell to the floor, Alwenn couldn’t help but get her breath caught, hurryingly running to Thyia’s side and gently holding her.</p><p>She nervously helped her get up and sit on the bed again.</p><p>-Do you want me to-</p><p>-I swear that if you say "<em>Carry you</em>", I'll kill you.</p><p>Alwenn immediately flinched at the threat, the coldness in Thyia’s voice.</p><p>She knew the Warlock didn’t mean it, of course.</p><p>Thyia just hated being babysat.</p><p>Alwenn could respect that.</p><p>She was the same, after all.</p><p>-...I’m sorry.</p><p>Thyia looked at her with an apologetic look.</p><p>-I… -She seemed ready to apologize, but quickly changed her tone. – I can do this on my own.</p><p>Alwenn sighed.</p><p>-Can I at least help? -Alwenn gently held Thyia’s hands. -Your wounds still aren’t completely recovered, and you hadn’t walked in a whole month, Thyia. Take support on me at least this first time. Things will get easier from there on.</p><p>The Warlock looked at her side, not seeming to want to accept her help.</p><p>But in the end, she seemed to decide to indulge Alwenn.</p><p>-…Fine.</p><p>The Mage smiled, relieved.</p><p>Thyia wrapped an arm around Alwenn’s shoulder.</p><p>The Elf felt her body burn under that touch, but refused to let it be too noticeable, gently placing an arm around Thyia’s hip to help her get up.</p><p>Slowly but steadily, they found a walking rhythm that fitted both of them, slowly walking through the hallways of the Magistracy.</p><p>Alwenn could feel Thyia’s discomfort as all the Mages they found turned their stares to them, gossiping, pointing, <em>judging</em>.</p><p>They refused to be stopped by those, however.</p><p>-…I’ll show you the garden. It’s a beautiful place, really big. Easy to get away from crowds.</p><p>Thyia nodded in acknowledgement.</p><p>Despite all the gossip, her head was proudly up, facing everything and everyone with the look of someone that could take over the world.</p><p>
  <em>And she probably could.</em>
</p><p>Alwenn didn’t know just how much more she could love that woman without completely losing it.</p><p>Every time she thought she already respected and admired her as much as a person could, Thyia seemed to remind her that there was still more to see, more to appreciate, more to love.</p><p>She felt those damn butterflies on her stomach all the way through to the garden, and they still persisted even when she slowly let go of the Warlock on a quiet corner, on the shadow of a huge tree.</p><p>They just sat in silence there, appreciating the gentle breeze.</p><p>The sun was setting.</p><p>Alwenn’s heart jumped as the word “<em>Romantic</em>” came to her mind, wondering just when had she turned into a lovestruck teenager.</p><p>-Good to be away from all the gossip, <em>huh</em>?</p><p>Thyia broke the silence and her thoughts with a sore tone.</p><p>Alwenn sighed.</p><p>-They are scared… We never had a Warlock in here. It’s nothing personal.</p><p>Thyia hummed.</p><p>-People are scared of what they don’t understand, I guess.</p><p>-It’s hard to understand something that is only explained by insanity.</p><p>Alwenn didn’t mean to judge Thyia’s religion, of course.</p><p>Not on that moment, at least.</p><p>But she couldn’t help not getting why anyone would follow the path of such a terrible Divine, other than being completely crazy.</p><p>
  <em>How did someone like Thyia, so powerful, so confident, so beautiful, so brilliant, end up in that path?</em>
</p><p>Thyia placed her hands behind herself, supporting the weight of her torso on them.</p><p>-I understand her insanity. -Alwenn blinked, staring curiously at the woman. -It speaks to me. It makes me feel like the way I am isn’t that bad. Like there’s someone out there who can see my darkness without thinking that I’m a misfit.</p><p> The Mage’s heart throbbed.</p><p><em>Oh</em>.</p><p>Her breath got caught at the unusual seriousness in Thyia’s words.</p><p>-We are just looking for a place to fit in, you know. A place where we can find people like us. - She looked into the distance. Like if she was talking more to herself than to Alwenn. -People who have suffered. People who have been hurt. People who <em>understand</em>.</p><p>Alwenn was hypnotized by the way her hair floated with the breeze, the way her lilac eyes shone so bright, so fiercely, so <em>beautiful</em>.</p><p>-We laugh when faced with fear and suffering, because we have already wasted all of our tears long ago. I guess that in the end, we are just scared. We threw everything we had, everything we believed in, all of our morals into the trash, just to have a better world for ourselves. And that may make us egoists, Alwenn.</p><p>Alwenn’s heart clenched at the stare full of pain Thyia directed at her.</p><p>She drowned in her eyes, in all the mixed feelings in them, as she always did.</p><p><em>-But it doesn't make us monsters</em>.</p><p>And, for a second, Alwenn could swore she understood.</p><p>Alwenn could find all the reasons that could lead someone to that path in Thyia’s eyes.</p><p>All the pain, despair, loneliness.</p><p>It still didn’t mean that she approved that path.</p><p>But she could get it.</p><p>And, somehow, that was all both women need.</p><p>----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>-I’m telling you! – A very young Mage, around fifteen, smirked at the even younger kids in front of him, as they listened to his words attentively. -Don’t you think it’s weird that the Warlock has been in the infirmary for a month and a half?</p><p>-I heard she hasn’t even been in the infirmary! – A girl around his age smirked too, elbowing him in complicity. -I heard she has actually been in the secret dungeons because she’s dangerous!</p><p>-<em>Dangerous?</em> -One of the smallest kids cowered behind another kid slightly older than him, peeking at the eldest with fear. -How dangerous?</p><p>-I heard she defeated a demon! – The boy’s smirk got wider.</p><p>-I heard she <em>is</em> a demon! – The other girl wrapped an arm around his shoulder, ominously opening her other arm and mimicking claws with her hand while making a scary face.</p><p>All the kids made a collective “<em>Oooohhhh</em>!” sound as they stared with googly eyes at the seniors.</p><p>Everyone was far too into the story to notice the sneaky figure that approached them.</p><p>They could not have expected the small flames that suddenly appeared near their heads, not close enough to harm them, but certainly close enough to make them shut up in fear.</p><p>-<em>Boo.</em></p><p>That sound, alongside Thyia’s abrupt appearance, Warlock eyes glinting menacingly, was all it took to get all the kids screaming in despair, each one running away as fast as they could in all directions.</p><p>Thyia couldn’t help but laugh, until a familiar voice cut her fun short.</p><p>-Thyia, don’t scare my students!</p><p>The Warlock huffed, leaning against the wall of the courtyard.</p><p>-They were the ones gossiping about me first, Alwenn.</p><p>Said woman sighed, crossing her arms as she looked apologetically at her.</p><p>-...Please don’t take it to heart. Have they offended you?</p><p>The Warlock smirked ironically.</p><p>-In no way, I love being called a demon! Gives me a powerful reputation, you know?</p><p>Alwenn rolled her eyes.</p><p>-The older students love to scare the youngest with stories like this. You just happened to be the most interesting subject to do that right now.</p><p>-Well, I feel honored. – Thyia rolled her eyes, reaching out into her pouch and taking out a couple of Belrin Roots. – Always good to know I’m the freak of the show.</p><p>Alwenn crossed her arms, deciding to ignore  Thyia’s self-depreciative words for once and focus on her other bad habits instead.</p><p>-Thyia, you are <em>not </em>doing that here.</p><p>Thyia shrugged, walking five steps away from Alwenn.</p><p>-Is here better, then?</p><p>The Dinean huffed, quickly walking up to her and grabbing the hand that held the plant.</p><p>-You have to stop this habit. It’s not good for your health.</p><p>-C’mon, Alwenn. You don’t even notice when I’m on belrin roots.</p><p>But the Mage just sighed.</p><p>-Probably because you’re <em>always</em> on belrin roots.</p><p>Thyia just smirked at that, deciding it was best to not keep the matter flowing.</p><p>She pulled her hand from Alwenn’s and grudgingly placed the plant inside her pouch again.</p><p>Alwenn seemed proud of that, and Thyia found a happy distraction soon enough.</p><p>From where they were standing, both women managed to catch a glimpse of a Mage child running.</p><p>They wouldn’t have given it much attention, if not for the fact that the child almost seemed to have a heart attack when he noticed their presence, straightening his back and starting to walk slower.</p><p>Both Alwenn and Thyia raised an eyebrow at the strange behavior.</p><p>They exchanged a glance before calmly walking up to him.</p><p>He started walking faster as he sensed them approaching him.</p><p>So Alwenn and Thyia picked their pace as well.</p><p>The kid eventually broke up in a run, which of course did not take him far away, as Alwenn quickly made an earth wall appear in front of him.</p><p>The kid almost went against it but managed to catch himself in time.</p><p>-What are you up to this time, Rowan?</p><p>The kid shivered at Alwenn’s incriminating tone.</p><p>He turned around to face both women, suspiciously wrapping his cape against his body.</p><p>-Nothing.</p><p>Alwenn sighed.</p><p>-Oh, really? Then would you please show me what you are hiding inside that cape?</p><p>Rowan started trembling, completely pale.</p><p>Thyia didn’t feel like waiting, walking up to him and spreading his arms away.</p><p>A tiny bottle fell from under his cape, luckily not breaking when hitting the ground.</p><p>-A shape-shifting potion? – Alwenn’s eyes widened in worry as she picked the bottle up. – Rowan, where did you get this?</p><p>The kid fidgeted.</p><p>-I… I borrowed it from the lab…</p><p>-<em>Borrowed</em>?  - Thyia smirked menacingly.</p><p>Rowan’s whole body trembled, looking away.</p><p>-I… I…</p><p>-Did you know that it’s a crime to use those potions without strict permission? -Thyia just narrowed her eyes. The kid certainly hadn’t <em>borrowed</em> anything. -This can be used to look like anyone. Passing by as someone else is identity theft and can be used as incrimination. You are in huge trouble, <em>kid</em>.</p><p>Rowan’s eyes widened fast, terrified.</p><p>-It was just for playing, I swear! Arya thought it would be funny to be another person for a while! We didn’t mean to ever hurt anyone! Please don’t report me, I won’t do it again!</p><p>Alwenn sighed.</p><p>-There there, Rowan. I believe you didn’t have bad intentions, you are a good kid. But Thyia is right. It’s a crime, even if you didn’t know it. – The kid trembled in fear, and Thyia watched as Alwenn became soft, placing her hands on his shoulders, gently wiping away his tears. -Hey, don’t cry. Now you know. Just don’t steal again. It’s already bad enough to take what isn’t yours, but it’s even worse when you don’t know what it can do. Just promise you’ll never do this again.</p><p>Thyia would never admit it, but <em>Divines, she melted every time she watched Alwenn get all motherly with her students.</em></p><p>Rowan let out a few sobs, nodding.</p><p>-Yes, Miss Alwenn. I will not do it again.</p><p>Alwenn smiled gently, sighing in relief.</p><p>-Well, good thing you aren’t exactly the sneakiest person here.</p><p>-Alwenn is right. -Thyia smirked at Rowan, who rose an eyebrow at her. -You have to learn how to make trouble <em>without</em> getting in trouble, kid.</p><p>-<em>Thyia</em>!</p><p>The Warlock shrugged in amusement at Alwenn’s rage.</p><p>-Hey, I have good advice to give. It’s up to him if he will take it or not.</p><p>The Elf rolled her eyes hopelessly.</p><p>She sent the kid away with a last scold and some comforting caresses before turning to Thyia again.</p><p>-I’m giving up on you.</p><p>-Good. About time.</p><p>Alwenn sighed at that.</p><p>-Divines, you’re unbelievable. It would be funny if it wasn’t tragic.</p><p>Thyia snickered, and Alwenn seemed to decide to drop the matter.</p><p>Instead, she nervously stared at the ground.</p><p>Thyia raised an eyebrow, knowing that behavior didn’t signal good news.</p><p>-I… I have to leave for some time. -She nervously put a strand of her hair behind her ear. -I got a mission far away and-</p><p>-<em>Okay</em>.</p><p>Thyia watched in faked indifference as Alwenn raised up her head to look at her, seeming sad at the sudden cold answer.</p><p>Thyia didn’t like it when Alwenn had big missions.</p><p>Didn’t like it when she was far away.</p><p>When she went to do dangerous things.</p><p>She was the one person Thyia enjoyed spending time with in the Magistracy.</p><p>Whenever she left, Thyia was even lonelier than ever.</p><p>And all Thyia had to pass time in those times was her fearful thoughts that Alwenn could get hurt while in her mission.</p><p>But Thyia would never dare impose anything on her, nor be even more of a burden than she already was.</p><p>So she would subconsciously get cold whenever Alwenn had to leave.</p><p>Pretending she didn’t care.</p><p>So that Alwenn didn’t have to feel even more pity than she already did.</p><p>Alwenn fidgeted for a while before nodding.</p><p>-Well, that’s all I had to say… I have to get ready. Please, don’t get in trouble. Remember to take care of yourself. Don’t overdo those Belrin Roots, and don’t prank Edward again. And please don’t get into fights with Paul again. And don’t steal from anywhere aga-</p><p>-Alwenn. -Thyia cut her off again, eyerolling. -You give this speech every single time before you leave.</p><p>The Mage huffed.</p><p>-Because you keep doing the same things, no matter how many times I warn you not to!</p><p>-Well, should know better than to even try at this point, then. -Thyia smirked teasingly.</p><p>Alwenn sighed.</p><p>-Yes, I should. Anyway, I have to get this bottle back where it belongs before the others notice it’s gone and then pack my things.</p><p>She took some steps away from Thyia, before stopping and turning around to face her one last time.</p><p>-…See you soon?</p><p>Thyia’s heart swelled in her chest, but she kept her indifferent mask on.</p><p>-<em>See you soon.</em></p><p>----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>---------------------------------------------------------</p><p>---------------------------------------</p><p>Alwenn knew she shouldn’t listen in.</p><p>She knew she shouldn’t be hiding behind that tree, trying to discover what Aveus had to say to Thyia.</p><p>She knew she was way too old to act like that.</p><p>She knew she was looked up to as a teacher and shouldn’t resort to something so low.</p><p>But she couldn’t help it.</p><p>She couldn’t help the worry, the protectiveness, the need to be aware of whatever could be happening with that woman.</p><p>Thyia was far too careless, always entering any kind of trouble, never sharing her burdens with anyone else.</p><p>Alwenn needed to break those barriers in order to be there for her.</p><p>So, despite her discomfort, she listened to the whole story, heart clenching more and more as it progressed.</p><p>
  <em>Thyia leaving?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>For the Castle?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>To serve the <strong>king</strong>?</em>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>As a Court Mage?</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>No.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>No, no, no.</em>
</p><p>Everything about it screamed danger.</p><p>Everything about it was just plain wrong and absurd and risky and <em>oh Divines how could that be happening?</em></p><p>
  <em>Why did things like that always happen to Thyia?</em>
</p><p>Even when she didn’t search for trouble, it would come to her.</p><p>Alwenn couldn’t believe someone could get into such a predicament without even trying.</p><p>
  <em>What was she going to do?</em>
</p><p>She couldn’t let Thyia go on her own.</p><p>Thyia wasn’t a Mage.</p><p>Thyia knew nothing of politics.</p><p>Thyia had never been nowhere near nobility.</p><p>Thyia didn’t have any positive experience with kings.</p><p>
  <em>Thyia had no way of surviving through all that on her own.</em>
</p><p>Alwenn’s mind was trying desperately to make a plan, anything that could allow her to help in any way.</p><p>Maybe she could beg Aveus to let her go along?</p><p>He didn’t seem like the type to try to stop her.</p><p>He had always been kind and understanding and supportive.</p><p>But to beg him that she would have to admit that she had spied on them.</p><p>Alwenn didn’t like the idea much, but between letting her dignity fall a bit or let Thyia get hurt in any way, the choice was easy.</p><p>
  <em>She just didn’t expect Aveus to make it <strong>that</strong> easy.</em>
</p><p>Alwenn didn’t expect him to call her out on her spying.</p><p>And she didn’t expect him to ask her to go with Thyia all on his own accord.</p><p>Of course, she didn’t hesitate in accepting it, relief flooding through her, knowing she could be there to try to appease whichever problems came their way.</p><p>But it was only when she was side by side with Thyia on the carriage, with time to think things through once all the panic had settled down, that it came to her mind.</p><p>
  <em>She was with Thyia.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>After so long barely exchanging some words, she was by her side.</em>
</p><p>Alwenn had been so busy those years.</p><p>Once Thyia had gotten better, Alwenn had to begin all her hard work again.</p><p>She barely had time to see the woman she loved, but she had tried.</p><p>
  <em>Divines, she had tried so hard.</em>
</p><p>But the more work Alwenn had and the more successful she was, the more she kept gaining reputation and getting even longer jobs.</p><p>She had hated every single day away from Thyia.</p><p>And Thyia…</p><p>Thyia had seemed so distant.</p><p>Seeming to avoid her on the scarce time Alwenn could find to be with her.</p><p>Seeming<em> cold</em>.</p><p>And Alwenn didn’t know how to act with that side of hers.</p><p>Alwenn was already a mess of feelings, barely able to get a hold of herself whenever Thyia was around, let alone when she didn’t cooperate.</p><p>So, she just helplessly watched as the woman drifted away from her.</p><p>Heart clenching in pain every time she watched the one she loved walk alone in the distance, without sparing her a glance.</p><p>Wondering just where she had gone wrong.</p><p> </p><p>If only Alwenn could have known that Thyia wasn’t any happier with the situation.</p><p>That Thyia hated herself so much for not being able to look at Alwenn.</p><p>Because Thyia always hated the way Alwenn would look back at her.</p><p>A sadness in her eyes that made Thyia’s very core twist in pain.</p><p>Because Thyia thought it was pity.</p><p>Because Thyia thought she was a disappointment.</p><p>Because Thyia thought Alwenn only searched for her because the Elf was such a nice person.</p><p>Because Alwenn was so strong and so beautiful and so amazing and Thyia was nothing but an empty shell of what she used to be.</p><p>Thyia hated that Alwenn was so perfect.</p><p>Thyia hated that she loved Alwenn so much, and yet she could never be what Alwenn deserved.</p><p>So she did the only thing she knew to do.</p><p>She ran away from those feelings.</p><p>She ran away from Alwenn.</p><p>Maybe if she ignored both for long enough, they would just disappear.</p><p>But sitting in that carriage, shoulder occasionally bumping against Alwenn’s from how close they were sitting, catching occasional whiffs of her scent, Thyia just mentally sighed.</p><p>
  <em>No.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She’s never getting over that woman.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Right at her side, Alwenn could not help the strong beats inside her chest, making her feel so much more alive than she had ever been in those last couple years.</p><p>Maybe she could sort things out this time.</p><p>Maybe this was another chance.</p><p>She had many of those, all of which she let get away.</p><p>But maybe, just maybe…</p><p>
  <em>She can take this one.</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Ty sooooo much (again) Kiki and Keli for helping me edit this giant fic and not let me give up halfway   ᕦ(Ò_Óˇ)ᕤ   (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧</p></blockquote></div></div>
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